Do you sometimes wonder how the mind works? How they store memories in your head? Sometimes I wonder if a person’s mind only stores the memories she holds dear to her heart and the most terrifying, excruciating ones locked away in her mind, left to rot.
Maybe the dreams and nightmares were flashbacks of your past; maybe the things that you stare at for a long time are instruments that can trigger a memory that you have repressed in your mind.
Nightmares are products of your fears in waking life ; dreams, on the other hand, are fruits of memories that make you laugh to your hearts content or things you want to accomplish.
I wasn’t so sure if my accident caused memory loss or it was the fact that I shut it off of my mind. I did not remember what happened before that fateful moment. I dream of that moment in fragments. The nightmare played repeatedly in my mind.
In those instances, always see blue and green cloths and a blinding light… Hearing myself scream over and over, calling my Mommy Lits and Dad. Screaming their names again and again. And after a flicker of light I wake up.
Sometimes I wonder, where was my mom when all this was happening. Why wasn’t I calling her name? Who’s hand was I holding during the operation? But then reality hits me hard and I always end up telling myself that it’s no use to question the past. I should mind the present and prepare for my future.